I had a dream a few nights ago that I had lost my way. No one recognized me and I didn't know what had happened to my life. I wandered, talked to people from my past and pieced together the story that someone had stolen a painting from me. I could get my life back if only I could recreate this painting. So I decided to try. But the only way to recreate it was to sit on a couch that was suspended from a crane on top of a 30 story building. My mother sat on one side of the couch and my husband on the other. Any slight move from any of us would send the couch pitching to and fro, endangering our lives and making it difficult to finish the painting. I woke up exhausted.
I keep thinking about that dream as my family begins the arduous task of cleaning out our rental house, packing up our belongings and moving into our new home along with my mother. In the past 5 years my husband, Brett, and I have experienced the birth of two amazing boys - Urban, now 4 1/2 and Beringer, 14 months, life altering changes like unemployment, becoming landlords and then losing our property to short sale, bankruptcy and foreclosure. We moved into a rental home a year and a half ago thinking we would stay for a while, lay low and rebuild. But laying low is not exactly my style, and by fall I had a brainstorm that has led us on this path of inviting my mother into our immediate family and blending our lives to make a creative, fresh start.
My mother has been living alone ever since my father had to move into assisted living for Alzheimer's. She is an hour and a half away from us in a city she has only been living in for 5 years. We wanted to help her find some peace of mind, and she wanted to help us get into a permanent house we could call our own. We sat down with the figures and realized that if she purchased a home with her good credit, Brett and I could pay the mortgage in similar payments to our current rent. She would have some budget relief and we would have another adult in our house to help out with our tireless boys. Once we sit out our credit rebuilding time, we can transfer the mortgage into our names.
We've spent the last 6 months looking for a perfect home - trying to find something that would suit our unique needs. Duplexes were our first thought, but to fit a family of 4 on one side, you end up with far too much for a single person on the other. An existing in-law suite, then? Well, this is easier said than done. We looked at everything from proper apartments to weird little basements with an extra kitchen. Where could we find a place with few stairs - Mom is not great with long climbs - and enough bedrooms, dedicated spaces for a toy room and separate family rooms? We explored the idea of renovating a foreclosure or even just a cheap house, but with our oldest almost in Kindergarten, good schools were imperative too. It was a frustrating and crazy search.
Finally, we found a place that fit most of our criteria. A 4 level split with a bed, bath and sitting room all on the main level and 3 bedrooms upstairs. It is perfect. We'll share kitchen and laundry, but have separate entertainment spaces. There's enough room for the boys to have a toy room, and I'll even get a sewing room! We're so excited to get started.
So, in the coming posts you'll read about our journey to move in, decorate on a tight budget, blend a multi-generational family and live our lives day-to-day. Welcome to the funny farm.
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