You know, I have never been more thankful of my great relationship with my mother than now as we volley for spots for all of our belongings. It seems so quaint and simple. The first words, "Let's move in together!" Then you stop and think. I have stuff. Brett has stuff. We have stuff together. The boys have their own stuff. We have furniture and dishes and linens. Mom has all that stuff too. Plus, she has family heirlooms; 30+ years of adult, family and marriage accumulation; a husband who was a pack rat (to put it mildly) and 3000+ sq. ft. of furnishings. Our new house is only 2300 sq. ft. What are we going to do with all the stuff? So, the negotiations begin, because for every one thing you agree on there is at least one thing that must be purged. And "at least" is a very loose estimation.
Between our two families we have six couches. SIX! We do not need six couches. This is agreed. But where Brett and I steer pretty modern with our couch styles, Mom is decidedly traditional. OK, let's table the couches and talk about our 3 dining room tables. One can be painted with a more weather hearty finish and put on the three season porch. We can use Mom's round dining table in the dining room by purchasing two more chairs, and our IKEA table will go on Craigslist. There. That's some progress.
Since we're in the dining/kitchen, let's talk about dishes. We have 3 sets of china + another 3 sets of everyday dishes. (Clearly this is a family illness.) OK, Brett and I can sell one set of china and donate our other set of everyday stuff. Most of it came from a garage sales anyway. We keep Grandma Sauer's china from Germany and Mom's wedding dishes. In fact, we can paint the wardrobe that currently houses Mom's TV the same color as the cabinets in the kitchen, add some shelves, and VOILA! a china cabinet! Look at us go.
Room by room we work our way through the sea of stuff, and after each discussion, I run home and add more to the Goodwill pile. Being faced with your accumulation is a sobering thing. I refuse to move anything that we will not use. I refuse to store things "just in case". And especially since we will be moving ourselves in a rental truck. If it's not necessary... it's going to someone else. Craigslist is my new best friend. In fact, if you or someone you know needs something. I may have it. CHEAP! ha!
It feels good to purge the excess, and it is exciting to be surrounded by things from my childhood again – things that will now be decorated with my family's stuff and accented by my family's artwork. It is also thrilling to know that my mom is an integral part of that family again and not just a voice on the other end of the line – that her stuff can mingle with my stuff and Brett's stuff and the boys' stuff and it will all just become our stuff.
Do you want to talk about the couches now? Um, no.
Showing posts with label combine family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label combine family. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
The Beginning
I had a dream a few nights ago that I had lost my way. No one recognized me and I didn't know what had happened to my life. I wandered, talked to people from my past and pieced together the story that someone had stolen a painting from me. I could get my life back if only I could recreate this painting. So I decided to try. But the only way to recreate it was to sit on a couch that was suspended from a crane on top of a 30 story building. My mother sat on one side of the couch and my husband on the other. Any slight move from any of us would send the couch pitching to and fro, endangering our lives and making it difficult to finish the painting. I woke up exhausted.
I keep thinking about that dream as my family begins the arduous task of cleaning out our rental house, packing up our belongings and moving into our new home along with my mother. In the past 5 years my husband, Brett, and I have experienced the birth of two amazing boys - Urban, now 4 1/2 and Beringer, 14 months, life altering changes like unemployment, becoming landlords and then losing our property to short sale, bankruptcy and foreclosure. We moved into a rental home a year and a half ago thinking we would stay for a while, lay low and rebuild. But laying low is not exactly my style, and by fall I had a brainstorm that has led us on this path of inviting my mother into our immediate family and blending our lives to make a creative, fresh start.
My mother has been living alone ever since my father had to move into assisted living for Alzheimer's. She is an hour and a half away from us in a city she has only been living in for 5 years. We wanted to help her find some peace of mind, and she wanted to help us get into a permanent house we could call our own. We sat down with the figures and realized that if she purchased a home with her good credit, Brett and I could pay the mortgage in similar payments to our current rent. She would have some budget relief and we would have another adult in our house to help out with our tireless boys. Once we sit out our credit rebuilding time, we can transfer the mortgage into our names.
We've spent the last 6 months looking for a perfect home - trying to find something that would suit our unique needs. Duplexes were our first thought, but to fit a family of 4 on one side, you end up with far too much for a single person on the other. An existing in-law suite, then? Well, this is easier said than done. We looked at everything from proper apartments to weird little basements with an extra kitchen. Where could we find a place with few stairs - Mom is not great with long climbs - and enough bedrooms, dedicated spaces for a toy room and separate family rooms? We explored the idea of renovating a foreclosure or even just a cheap house, but with our oldest almost in Kindergarten, good schools were imperative too. It was a frustrating and crazy search.
Finally, we found a place that fit most of our criteria. A 4 level split with a bed, bath and sitting room all on the main level and 3 bedrooms upstairs. It is perfect. We'll share kitchen and laundry, but have separate entertainment spaces. There's enough room for the boys to have a toy room, and I'll even get a sewing room! We're so excited to get started.
So, in the coming posts you'll read about our journey to move in, decorate on a tight budget, blend a multi-generational family and live our lives day-to-day. Welcome to the funny farm.
I keep thinking about that dream as my family begins the arduous task of cleaning out our rental house, packing up our belongings and moving into our new home along with my mother. In the past 5 years my husband, Brett, and I have experienced the birth of two amazing boys - Urban, now 4 1/2 and Beringer, 14 months, life altering changes like unemployment, becoming landlords and then losing our property to short sale, bankruptcy and foreclosure. We moved into a rental home a year and a half ago thinking we would stay for a while, lay low and rebuild. But laying low is not exactly my style, and by fall I had a brainstorm that has led us on this path of inviting my mother into our immediate family and blending our lives to make a creative, fresh start.
My mother has been living alone ever since my father had to move into assisted living for Alzheimer's. She is an hour and a half away from us in a city she has only been living in for 5 years. We wanted to help her find some peace of mind, and she wanted to help us get into a permanent house we could call our own. We sat down with the figures and realized that if she purchased a home with her good credit, Brett and I could pay the mortgage in similar payments to our current rent. She would have some budget relief and we would have another adult in our house to help out with our tireless boys. Once we sit out our credit rebuilding time, we can transfer the mortgage into our names.
We've spent the last 6 months looking for a perfect home - trying to find something that would suit our unique needs. Duplexes were our first thought, but to fit a family of 4 on one side, you end up with far too much for a single person on the other. An existing in-law suite, then? Well, this is easier said than done. We looked at everything from proper apartments to weird little basements with an extra kitchen. Where could we find a place with few stairs - Mom is not great with long climbs - and enough bedrooms, dedicated spaces for a toy room and separate family rooms? We explored the idea of renovating a foreclosure or even just a cheap house, but with our oldest almost in Kindergarten, good schools were imperative too. It was a frustrating and crazy search.
Finally, we found a place that fit most of our criteria. A 4 level split with a bed, bath and sitting room all on the main level and 3 bedrooms upstairs. It is perfect. We'll share kitchen and laundry, but have separate entertainment spaces. There's enough room for the boys to have a toy room, and I'll even get a sewing room! We're so excited to get started.
So, in the coming posts you'll read about our journey to move in, decorate on a tight budget, blend a multi-generational family and live our lives day-to-day. Welcome to the funny farm.
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